Authenticity Is a Tool, Not a Goal (Video)

I hear people say that the point of therapy is to be authentic, but I’m not sure that’s accurate. As a therapist, you are mandated, by law, to break confidentiality if you assess that the patient is suicidal or a danger to others. If you come to therapy as suicidal, it doesn’t sound like the game-plan is to be more authentic in that desire. If you are authentically a sadist, then the point is not to help you become more abusive. That’s just common sense. What if you authentically have narcissistic personality disorder? Helping you become a more authentic narcissist doesn’t seem like a good goal.

One could argue that anything wrong with the client, any mental disorder they have, is due to ways their environment messed them up. The journey back to authenticity is the journey back to their gentle, pure, well-adjusted selves. Ok, fair enough. But that presupposes that human beings are inherently good at their core. The other perspective is that human beings are bad. They are violent and greedy and gluttonous and horny and the role of culture is to tame people into being civilized. If this were the case, then authenticity would obviously not be a goal of therapy. If you accept the view that human beings are naturally good, then the idea that you should express your emotions instead of repressing them makes sense. If you accept the view that human beings can be vicious to one another because of something in their nature, then repressing emotions seems like a good place to start.

Jungian therapy merges this idea of being “bad” and being authentic in a very clever way. The Jungian analysts say that you need to face your shadow, that is, get in touch with that part of yourself that is “bad” or capable of harm. This part of you that you don’t want to look at is referred to as your “shadow.” This perspective is that admitting you have a “shadow” is the first step to keeping it under control. It’s a sign of maturity. If you really believe that you are incapable of doing bad things, then, according to the Jungians, you are essentially naive, infantile, grandiose and, ironically, dangerous. So by confronting your shadow, you are more authentic, but you keep the bad parts of yourself buried and know that if you are not careful, they could take over. This is a clever way to admit that humans can be bad but still use authenticity to help them develop properly.

This makes authenticity less of a goal and more of a tool. Something that all therapists have to deal with is patient deception. Sometimes patients lie because they want to deceive. A lot of the time, they are mostly lying to themselves about what is really going on. One of my greatest teachers once asked, “is there a difference between denial and lying to yourself?” I am not sure. What is the difference between denial, repression, or projection and deceiving oneself because you don’t want to deal with whatever is going on? Maybe there isn’t one. It doesn’t matter what you answer, because one thing is clear: unless you can be honest about who you are, then you cannot help yourself. That’s why authenticity isn't a goal to be achieved in therapy. It’s a temporary stop on your path of development. For example, maybe you want to learn how to better regulate your emotions. Being able to authentically express them is a good first step. If you are just expressing them all of the time for the sake of “being your authentic self,” then good for you. But what comes next? If your authentic self was so special and perfect, you wouldn’t need to come to therapy in the first place. You would just be who you are, and live your life as it pleases you.

If you are curious about making a change, or if you want to practice authenticity in  a safe, comfortable atmosphere, reach out to me for a free consultation.